I'm Saying Goodbye to Him
by Tarafina
Summary: Before Puck can pour his heart out to her, Rachel knows she has to say farewell to an old flame. PxR


**Title**: I'm Saying Goodbye to Him (And Hello To You)  
><strong>Category<strong>: Glee  
><strong>Genre<strong>: Romance/Drama/Humor  
><strong>Ship<strong>: Puck/Rachel  
><strong>Rating<strong>: PG-13  
><strong>Warning(s)<strong>: Coarse Language  
><strong>Prompt<strong>: "Ask me again." by nicalyse – puckrachel drabble meme (part seven)  
><strong>Word Count<strong>: 2,444  
><strong>Summary<strong>: Before Puck can pour his heart out to her, Rachel knows she has to say farewell to an old flame.

**_I'm Saying Goodbye to Him (And Hello to You)_**  
>-11-

Standing in the middle of Noah Puckerman's bedroom, Rachel listened intently as some of the most _beautiful _words she'd ever heard spilled from his mouth. The weight of what he was saying, of his _declarations_, had her heart beating thickly in her ears. It wasn't _unexpected_, really - they'd been spending a lot of time together in these last six months since she and Finn had gone their separate ways - but she found herself unprepared for what he wanted, what he was hoping for. Before he could get too deep in, she realized there was something, or more accurately _someone_, that she needed to speak to before she let herself become too enamored with what he was proposing.

"Hold that thought," she said, pressing a finger to his lips to keep him from speaking.

He blinked at her, brows furrow. "Ya fuckin' kiddin' me?" he mumbled.

She pinched her fingers around his lips to keep them closed and stared at him seriously. "Noah, really, please…" When she was sure he wouldn't pick up where he left off, she released him and walked backwards toward the door. "I just—I need five minutes," she told him apologetically.

He threw his hands up. "I'm pouring my heart out right now and you need a _bathroom _break?"

She frowned. "No, I need to make a phone call."

He rolled his eyes, laughing incredulously. "Un-fucking-believable… All right, whatever, do what you gotta do, I guess…" Jaw ticking, he took a seat at the edge of his bed and grabbed up his guitar, his shoulders hunched in a familiar position of _brooding _that she'd come to associate with him.

"It's not like that," she told him, worrying her lip.

He strummed his fingers over the chords harshly and glared at her. "I'm in the middle of telling you I love you, that I got into NYU _for _you, and that I think we should give us a real fucking chance and you wanna take a _break?_"

Her shoulders slumped and with a huff, she put her hands on her hips. "See, now you've ruined the effect!"

His eyes widened. "_I _ruined the effect?"

She waved a hand. "Just… Just wait here." Turning on her heel, skirt bouncing off her thighs, she walked into the hall quickly, closing the door behind her before she pulled out her iPhone.

"The hell am I gonna _go? _It's my goddamn bedroom!" he complained behind her.

Rolling her eyes, she made her way down the hall and dialed a familiar phone number, anxiously tapping her foot as she waited for it to ring, for him to pick-up.

"Rachel?" Finn's confused voice echoed back to her.

"Hi," she said, eyes darting to the floor. "I…" She blew out a breath and then licked her lips. "I want you to listen very closely to me and I don't want you to interrupt."

"Uh, okay…"

She nodded. "I… I will _always _love you," she admitted. "Not… Not in the way that I _thought _I would, but… You will always remain in my heart; you will always be a part of me…" She leaned back against the wall and collected her thoughts, tucking her hair behind her ear. "But I need you to know that I'm not _in love _with you anymore… I-I need you to know that you will always be my first kiss, my first love, my first _heartbreak_… but I don't want to, and I _won't_, spend my life wishing things between us had turned out differently…"

She took a deep breath. "And I'm telling you this not to _hurt _you, but because I have feelings for someone else… Very strong, very _deep _feelings. And I think you may be the only person that could get in the way of that…" She shook her head. "Not because I would want or choose you over him, but because there is so much bad blood between the three of us that insecurities and confusion and even—even jealousy may cause problems…" She swallowed tightly. "So I'm telling you this because before he tells me that he loves me too and that he wants us to be something beautiful, I need you to know that I'm not with him for any other reason than that I… I really, truly _love _him… And I'm _hoping _that you will understand and respect that, so we can have this chance and we can explore this between us…"

She sniffled, not realizing just how emotional she'd gotten; her eyes filled with warm tears. "I… Can I ask that of you, Finn? Can you… Are you capable of doing that for me?"

The line was quiet a long moment. "I can talk now?"

She chuckled a little under her breath. "Yes."

"Okay, uh…" He sighed. "You know I'm always going to love you, Rach… But—But you're _right_, I… Me and you, we weren't… I wanted us to work too, y'know?"

She nodded, her eyes closing.

"But we didn't, we _don't_, so… So maybe it's gonna be really hard and maybe I won't always be, like, _nice _about it, but… But if you love Puck, I think you should be with him and I won't—I mean, I'll _try _not to get in the way…"

"Thank you, Finn, I—" Her brows furrowed. "Wait, how could you possibly have known that I was talking about Noah?"

He laughed. "Rachel, I _know_ Puck, and… And I've seen the way he looks at you."

Her eyes widened, an inescapable smile tugging at her lips. "Really?"

"Yeah," he muttered quietly. "So… I guess… I guess I'm okay with it…"

She grinned. "Thank you for being so understanding."

"Yeah, uh… Thanks for, like, telling me before though, y'know? 'Cause I don't think I would've been as cool if I'd just seen you guys at school…"

She nodded knowingly. "I assumed so."

"'Kay, well I gotta go, I'm teaching Kurt how to play COD… He sucks."

She laughed softly. "Okay, well, have fun then."

"Sure. Later!"

"Goodbye Finn," she murmured, her naturally dramatic personality making it all sound so much more than what it was. After all, she'd see him at school on Monday… With a sniffle, she pushed the end button and turned around. A shriek escaped her as she found Noah standing just two feet away. Hand pressed to her chest, she glared at him. "Have no you grasp of _privacy?_"

He frowned. "It's_ my _hallway… in _my _house… outside _my _bedroom!"

She scoffed. "Yes, well, you _knew _I was in the middle of something… It only seems right to give me the adequate amount of time to do what I needed to…" She eyed him carefully. "How much did you hear?"

He raised a brow, smirking.

"All of it then," she surmised.

He tucked his hands in his pockets, nodding. "So you had to call _Finn_?"

She let out a deep breath, worrying about how he might perceive the situation. "I needed to make sure he understood that things between us were really and truly over. And I didn't want him to be hurt when I…" She looked up at him. "When _we_…"

He stared at her, forehead furrowed with deep thought. "Okay," he finally said.

She breathed a sigh of relief and then fiddled with her fingers. She felt the weight of everything unsaid settle between them, like lead in her chest. "Noah…?"

He cocked his head knowingly. "Yeah?"

She chewed her lip and stared up at him from beneath long lashes. "Ask me again?"

A long, silent moment passed before he took a step and crossed the space between them. Reaching out, he buried his fingers in her hair and cupped her neck, angling her head up so they were face to face. She could feel the heat of each exhaled breath leave his lips and skitter across her own. His dark green eyes bore into her own deep brown; a shiver of awareness ran up and down her spine.

"You kinda ruined the whole speech I had planned," he reminded.

Her eyes fell slightly. "I'm sorry… I know you worked hard on the wording; I hardly heard any swear words…"

He half-grinned. "Shit was poetic."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so _eloquent_…" she murmured, reaching up to spread her hands across his chest.

"My body does most of my talking," he said rather arrogantly.

"Your hand's going to do much of the listening if you don't return to the point," she sniffed.

He laughed deeply; his chest rumbling and rippling beneath her fingers. She bit her lip, a warm flush spreading across her skin.

His thumb rubbed against her neck; the roughened pad scraping and teasing her skin.

"Be with me," he said, not a question now, but a statement. Where before he'd seemed unsure of her answer, now we was sure of it; certain that she knew how right they were together.

She peered up at him; his handsome face, the tilt of his lips, the face of a boy named Puck and the love of a man named Noah. "I would really like that," she agreed.

The way he chuckled under his breath made her stomach tighten deliciously.

He arched an eyebrow. "I'm thinking long-term here, Berry, you think you can handle that?"

She grinned. "I could be convinced…"

"Good." He nuzzled her nose lightly with his own. "I won't settle for less."

Rachel slid her hands up his chest and around his neck. "There will be no settling on either part, Noah…" She tilted her chin up until their lips brushed. "Only the very best for us."

"Damn straight."

His mouth slanted across hers, his arm banding around her waist and pulling her tight to him. She felt her feet leave the ground, only the tips of her toes skimming the hallway carpet. They traded kiss for kiss, breath for breath; his fingers tightening in her hair while her own gripped and kneaded his neck. She wondered, briefly, if this was how lovers held one another; if this was how he would _always _embrace her. It was warm and tight and she felt him against every contour of her body; she felt him in her racing pulse and her burning lungs; in the welcomed bruising of her lips. She tasted him and breathed him in and felt his very name etching its way across her heart. Distantly, she thought fireworks were really a poor way of expressing it, because what she felt each time Noah's lips touched her own exceeded words. It was an indescribable feeling that owned her, wholly, and she never wanted it to end.

When air became a necessity, she felt the soles of her feet touch the floor once more, and then he was just staring at her through half-lidded mossy green eyes, his lips curved in not a smirk but a lazy smile. He pressed one last lingering kiss to her lips and then he untangled his fingers from her hair and brushed it back over her shoulder. "Just me, or are we _epic?_"

She giggled helplessly, a giddy feeling welling deep inside her. "We are entirely _awesome,_" she told him.

"Hell yeah," he exclaimed. Grabbing up her hand, he tugged her along next to him as he walked back to his room. "C'mon, I'll show you three rough drafts I wrote up of my badass speech that you _legit _ruined with all your _altruism _and bull."

Rachel chose to ignore his jab and instead focused on the exciting part. "You wrote _rough drafts_?" She bounced next to him. "Oh, _Noah_, you really _do _care!"

He laughed. "Yeah, _Crazy_, kinda happens when you fall for a Broadway Diva who thinks pie charts are cool shit."

She clucked her tongue. "They're very effective."

He snorted, shaking his head. "I still have the two you made me about the effects of dip on my voice and the chances of getting an STI from all the skanks I used to bang."

She nodded her head sagely. "And you'll notice that you've quit dip and are now in a monogamous relationship with a very non-skank-like person."

His eyes darted away. "Right, yeah… _Totally _quit dip…"

"_Noah!_" she complained, slapping his shoulder.

He laughed. "Shit's addictive… You don't see me telling you to lay off _tofu!_"

She blinked owlishly at him. "I'm not even going to _dignify _that with a reply."

He smirked, plopping down on his bed. "Whatever. Check the garbage and you'll find grade-A Puckerone love letter type shit."

She grinned excitedly, clapping a little, and reached for the basket near his bed. She was about to reach in before pausing and staring dubiously down into the recesses. "The used tissues in here…?"

He sat up a little before shrugging. "Hey, you said to lay off the skanks, babe…"

She wrinkled her nose and placed the basket on the floor before retracting her hand quickly. "I think I'll stick to the verbal speech and my direct knowledge of your feelings," she decided.

Laughing, he dragged her over to lie next to him, stroking his fingers back through her hair. "So Finn's good with this then?"

"He's promised to try and not make waves," she said with a nod.

He hummed thoughtfully. "What if he'd said no?" he wondered.

She turned her chin over on his chest to peer up at him, her brows furrowed.

"When you asked him to be okay with it and not, like, start shit… What if he said no?"

Her eyes fell. "Then I suppose it would have been harder, but…" Her gaze found his once again. "_Worth _the trouble it might have incited."

He half-smiled, leaning his head back against his pillow.

With a soft sigh, she rested her cheek atop him once more and listened to the slow, relaxing beat of his heart. She let her fingers dance across his chest, drawing shapes like hearts and stars and a cursive promise to both herself and him of _Rachel & Noah forever_. Minutes passed and she looked up to see his eyes were closed, his lips tilted; she wondered if he was following each letter her finger made. She decided spending the afternoon making sure he got the message was a fantastic way to begin their new relationship. And when she felt his own forefinger draw a star on her shoulder, she was certain he had. Regardless of whether Finn stuck to his word and stayed out of their reunion, Rachel knew at least two things for sure… Noah was destined to be a very large, very meaningful part of her future and New York would be lucky to have them.

[**End.**]


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